Why We Need to Hold Space For the Positive

Facing the Hell of the External Energy 

Too much information flies at us, and all this externalised programming teaches us that it is bad to ignore our own intuition, and we flail and fight against the status quo. Feminists are viewed as evil, everyone suffers from an identity crisis, and we are smack bang in the middle of simply holding out space for the wrong things. 

Dreading the Wonderful

It’s time to explode some rainbow farting unicorns and dispense with the need to always be upbeat and positive about absolutely everything. Only sociopaths are happy about everything, and a western culture that pushes that it is a faux pas to feel depressed only serves to castigate, emasculate and disempower us further. What if depression was our psyche’s way of telling us that something was seriously wrong? What if negative feelings were actually healthy, and part of us wanting to just feel like we are chasing imposed external validations, rather than looking internally to uncover where it is we want to be?

If something happens that is really messed up, then perhaps that is an indicator that something in fact needs to change. It is important, valid and necessary to investigate your truth. Sarah Knight talks about the NotSorry method of having your opinion, and not being a jerk to others about it. Perhaps this is the new enlightenment – to be completely integrated. 

This new paradox of meaning, where we actually view that which feels bad is simply an indictment to make a change and to push our energy forward into what we can hold as a contrast can serve to empower us, rather than actually making us fall over on our own expectations for everything to be perfect, all of the time. 

For those of us who see ourselves as too deep, and have come to abhor the masses, and those who follow whatever cultural opinion seems to be the vox populi and happily wears the label “hipster,” it smacks as nihilistic if we feel that we can really ever make a difference to things we can’t control. We resent our existence in absolutely everything. We’ve forgotten the reality that we are only ever really permeating in this time and space, we are engaged with the reality in front of us: the moment. 

What can I do in this very moment? I can respond. That is something I can control. I can either react, and then screw up my day, loading up the bags of guilt, and then drag myself down further. Or I can simply step back and analyse. There are such things as internal locus of control, and we can exercise absolute free will over that. We can come to integrate that which is positive, and for the nihilists and misanthropes, perhaps open the curtains and let some sunshine in. 

The wonderful: dread it. Why? It is important, and you can shift your attention to it, you can even feel bad about enjoying it. It is paradoxical, yet it is part of dancing with our shadows, and helping us to integrate into genuinely healthy human beings, who have actively chosen to engage with that which is positive, without it being a veneer. We can genuinely engage with that which is beautiful, noble, upright and worthy of our attention. 

Things We Can and Cannot Control

We cannot follow the voice of the masses, and for those who are choosing to become more awakened, more conscious in their consumption of food for the mind, we are looking at refusing to make comparisons. Or we can look to those around us, and appreciate them for the different contrasts they offer us. Without contrast, we can’t place our own individuality, or make choices. Everything is truly a binary choice when you dilute it down to its foundation – it is either creation, or destruction. 

If we are faced with negative opinion on our lifestyles, and our choices really are not affecting anyone else except ourselves like our sexuality, or whether or not we choose to have an elective caesarean in order to give birth to that baby, we don’t have to take those things on board. A lot of us have grown up with a lack of acceptance from our families, and it feels good when we are validated from our social circle.

Often due to cultural predispositions however, we tend to submerge our own individual imprints into those of the group. This can be destructive, for example, growing up in a religious framework where domestic violence is encouraged, and hidden from the public, and sanctioned can be destructive to the women, children, and men who are the victims of it. 

If one family member chooses to reject the paradigms of what he or she was born into and had no conscious choice over, then the group responds in a most negative way, this creates a situation of distress for that individual. This helps to perpetuate trauma, and engages the individual in a cycle of self-destructive thought processes. 

Fortunately, the positive aspect of social media, is that we can reach out to others, and to find our tribe, and align with those who vibe in the same way that we do, and encourage, validate and point us to uncovering our own truth. To self actualise means to rise above negative opinion, and to consciously think for ourselves. We become awake and an observer to our own thought processes, instead of being victim to them. 

Going Within and the Healing Journey

When we step back and observe our reactions to situations where we cannot control particular outcomes (such as others going through painful situations) and also in dealing with things that we have made decisions over and or had to deal with (such as relationship breakup, losing a job, life transitions) we become more aware of who we are. We listen to the voice in our own head. 

Often our first reaction to the situation is the voice of what we were programmed with when we were children, and subject to the choices that were thrust upon us. As Teal Swan puts it, childhood can be a form of prison. It is each and every individual’s choice to then take what was given to us during our formative years, and construct our own meaning out of it. We can engage with that which was painful, and change our story. 

Making Space for the Positive

A lot of enlightened individuals found that when they started to meditate, that their lives began to change for the better. Western society is so fast paced, and our mobile phones ping us all day to respond. We can actively choose to step back and stop feeding the dopamine and validation circuits, and decide what, where and how we desire to spend our time. 

When we meditate, journal and think about all of the situations around us, it enables us the space to think about what it is that you are trying to solve. Sometimes you cannot do anything, or sometimes you will actually be confronted with a solution. At other times you can simply allow the answers to come to you. Our secondary thought processes after a stimulus are usually what we have chosen to think for ourselves, rather than our primal programmed unhealthy formative years indoctrination. We are better to allow the second voice to speak up, and become more attuned to it, because it is the voice of the self, our own guiding intuition. 

You can only hear this internal voice however, when you go within, slow down, meditate, and allow yourself the dignity of getting in touch with yourself. Making space for the positive means examining those things that are painful, and deciding in a conscious way to push energy towards those things that you do want. 

That is our real power, being fully present in that moment to what it is that we truly desire. Resonating with that divine spark within, and creating space for who we truly are, and relating to ourselves in the beauty that is us. 

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